not hungry

Intuitive eating kind of fell by the wayside when I did the Engine 28 Day Challenge. Because I followed the menu mostly and I didn’t really skip many meals: I kind of force-fed myself. I only skipped desserts honestly since I wasn’t really into anything too sweet after eating so much.

Anyway, I’ve been in kind of eating limbo. Nothing is off-limits and I’m just going through the motions. I need to get back in touch with my body and what’s going on. Eat when I’m hungry. Be mindful. Pay attention at meals. Don’t over eat, don’t eat when you aren’t hungry. Eat when I want to eat, not what is convenient or in front of me.

I’ve been wanting cereal the past few days but for some reason at work we’re pretty much out (we have a stocked kitchen). I brought cereal today and had some Shreddies with blueberries around 8:30am. I’ve been waiting to be hungry for lunch (Quinoa Kale & White Bean Stew) but I’m not hungry. I’m just hanging out at my desk but I’m focusing on “am I hungry yet?” every 5 minutes.

It’s getting annoying. Intuitive eating is harder if you are thinking too much about intuitiveĀ eating.

I’m thinking too much because I’ve fallen into automatic eating and snacking and I want to be mindful. But at the beginning it’s a mind game. Distractions are hard during lunch hours. I’ve been working on projects but people are eating around me and I feel like I should be eating even though I know that’s not true. Hearing crunchy chips makes me think I want crunchy chips. Honestly I don’t. I’m not hungry. Check againā€¦ no, still not hungry. Read a food blog… nope, still not hungry. Am I forcing it?

I’m stressed out and I emotional eat (kind of, honestly it’s just stress eating which might be under emotional eating, I’m no expert) so my brain is telling me I can chill out if I just eat something. Anything. It’s way too sunny today to just go on a walk and honestly I didn’t schedule it so I actually have a lot to take care of before that can happen. The stress isn’t going to go away for a while so I have to learn to balance it, work out more and get some damn sleep. Easier said than done but if I follow IE at least I won’t be eating us out of house and home, no matter how healthy my choices.

Still not hungry. I guess I’ll go to my next meeting.

[update] 3:20 and I was getting peckish. Had a clif bar to take care of the hunger since I didn’t want a full meal. Looking forward to a stir fry tonight, I have lots of bok choy and broccoli to use up!