Ga. Exercise is good! I keep on repeating this mantra. Monday was rough. I’ve been on the cusp of getting sick for 2 weeks. I guess this “is” sick. Monday I just felt weak. I couldn’t believe I was pressing 10kg last Monday with no problems. I had to push press almost all of my presses and force myself do to the full written sequence. I did it though. I got dizzy during the snatches, so I sat down and took a break. I finished but barely. Tuesday was just as wonderful.

However, later in the week things picked up again. In fact Saturday, my heavy day was all 10kg cleans/presses. The thing is though, that I’m getting more and more lazy with the workout times. I put it off, and like Thursday I had to work out at 10pm. Not a huge deal, but I’ve just lost my excitement. At least I didn’t brush it off.

I did actually see an increase in my biceps this week (I think, it is hard to measure your own biceps!). That’s a nice change. Besides feeling like crap I’m kind of motivated to continue. I think I’m not seeing much muscle gain because I’m not eating for a muscle gain. I don’t know how to do that with such a bad metabolism and thyroid issues. Sure, eating and packing on the pounds is pretty darn easy, even eating healthy. However eating enough for muscle gain I think isn’t something I can mentally do right now since I quit the dieting thing. Because not everything you gain when you are feeding to build muscle goes to said muscle, or even gets burned off. And I can’t bare to not fit in my pants again. But things are stable, no major ups or downs and no dieting. So something is going right, but I’m not sure I’m getting as strong as I could. If I had confidence I could cut the weight easily after gaining muscle I’d be swayed easier. It just got harder each time I tried to lose weight. I didn’t have obscene goals either.

Figures, when I give myself an out after a month I still chug along. At least with a lot of bitching. I think I’m chugging along because I don’t know what to do after this. I mean, I don’t want to do ANYTHING after this, so I best not stop and quit things cold turkey. Maybe next week I’ll come up with the best plan ever. Or I’ll  move on another week 😉

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