So it has honestly been a rough move. I’m finally after 2 months (and a few weeks in my new place) able to come to a place where I’m comfortable with intuitive eating again. All of the stress and new stuff in my life had me doubting everything and it was too “loud” to hear what my body wanted.
I have to really work in hearing my body and now that things have calmed down a bit I’m trying to relax and figure it out again. I’ve gained about 10 lbs since moving back here mostly because of stress and not listening to my body. It isn’t a big deal besides not fitting in my pants. Now that I’m in my own place I have no excuses but to listen to what is going on with my body.
For instance, I don’t have to eat 3 meals at pre-determined times. If I don’t want dinner, don’t eat dinner. If I want a huge meal at 3pm, have a huge meal at 3pm. I’ve started really paying attention to the emotional eating which was starting to get back out of control. It is still there, but I’m acknowledging it and moving on. I’m mindful of eating because of emotions, whatever they may be and even if I still want to do it, I’m aware and in the moment. The husband eats intuitively without even thinking of it and I’m always pressuring him to eat when I do. When he comes out here I need to chill with that, because going against his instincts is just as wrong as me going against mine.
I do make an exception and I eat breakfast every day, even if my body is telling me I can skip it. I do love my green monsters and I feel like they give me a great start to my day. I’m well past the point of intuitive eating where all I want to eat is sugar and chocolate and cake for every meal. My body is craving fruit like there is no tomorrow. So much so that I’ve gone through so much fruit lately I had to make a Costco trip as to not break the bank.
So what has happened with my fruitaholic cravings this past week? I’m dropping weight and feeling satisfied. Even when mixing in baked goods (a few too many at times), the weight is going down. I’m making balanced meals that are filling when I want them and snacking on fruit when the mood hits. Thinking back, this is pretty much how I grew up. Gorging on fruits and getting in other things when the mood struck.
In the back of my mind I’m still hearing the food police voices. The ones that say “this is rotten for your Candida”, “you are going to gain so much weight after eating a bushel of blueberries plus 6 peaches today, how do you fit all that food in you!”, “that much sugar is so bad for you” and so on. I know it is all bunk. I know that if I really do tune into my body and it wants even cheetos, I should respect that. And I need to stop trying to find substitues for my cravings, because it always backfires in the end anyway.
So until I’m off this fruit kick, I’ll be emptying out Costco, Whole Foods and the famers markets of all their organic fruit. Sure it is an expensive craving, but not listening to my body is far more expensive in the long run.